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Gifts are things most can appreciate. Who doesn’t love receiving a gift with thought and care put into it? Of course, not every gift is given that way. Sometimes a gift is just a prank in a box, or some kind of trick. The Philadelphia Eagles’ top wide receiver was about to receive such a “gift” from a good friend, and unbeknownst to him, things were about to get really crazy. To be fair, anything can get crazy when you’re friends with a monkey-scientist!

Phil Adler was walking home from the stadium one day after helping his team win the big game. This was one of those rare games where Phil had managed to win it without transforming, but that often meant that something was going to transform him later. As such, Phil was a bit on edge as he walked home. He knew the universe had it in for him, he just didn’t know in what way yet.

Phil was currently clad in his midnight green Philadelphia Eagles jersey and football gear, deciding to change at home instead. After all, he didn’t want to accidentally transform in the men’s locker room and knock his teammates over with his wings again! Phil matted his messy brown hair as he walked towards his treetop home.

Turning into a bird so often meant that Phil had to invest in something to accommodate his avian urges. As such, he bought tree real estate (or “tree’l estate”, as he calls it) next door to a certain simian scientist. As he arrived, he heard a familiar chattering coming from a nearby tree. He looked up just in time to see a monkey leap from the branches and land on his head!

The monkey quickly covered Phil’s eyes. “Guess who?”

Phil smirked. “Is it the silly monkey known as ‘Jam’?”

The monkey nodded and pulled his hands away. “Good guess for a dorky human!”

Phil stared at the silly monkey perched atop his head. Jam was known for causing chaos and being a headache (along with being a “head-swapper”), so Phil knew to watch himself around the simian. After all, Phil preferred his head where it is!

Phil grabbed the monkey and plucked him from his head, holding him up by his armpits. “To be fair, you are quite predictable.”

Jam smirked and reached into his pocket. “Is this predictable?”

The monkey-scientist then pulled out a small box covered in blue wrapping paper. Phil smirked. “Yeah, that’s pretty predictable, Jam. Wait, why the gift?”

“Because it’s your birthday!”

Phil’s eyes opened wide. “What?! That’s today?!”

Jam grinned mischievously. “Sounds like someone got so caught up in their big game that they forgot their own birthday!”

“You’d be surprised how often that happens. Regardless, I already know what’s in the box!”

“And that would be?”

“Something that’s going to transform me!”

“Hey, I do more than just transformations…”

“Yeah, you also swap bodies, swap heads, and turn into inanimate objects!”

“Okay, I do all those things, but I guarantee this is none of those. It’s just a gift, because I haven’t seen you in so long and I miss you!”

Phil smiled and took the package. “Fair enough! I’ll trust you this time, but this better not be a trick!”

“Trust me, it’s not! Would I lie?”

“Yes, you would!”

“Okay, well I’m not lying this time!”

“If you say so…” Phil said as he placed the monkey back on the ground.

Jam then lowered himself to all fours and balled his hands into fists. “Enjoy your gift! Oh, and be sure to open it only when you’re getting ready for bed. Later, football friend!” With that, Jam knuckle-walked over to his tree, which was located right next to Phil’s, and left the football player alone. Phil shrugged his shoulders and walked back to his house with the gift tucked under his arm like a football.

Hours passed as Phil enjoyed his evening, unwinding in the only way he knew how: watching old Saturday Morning Cartoons and eating cereal! He enjoyed a good bowl of “Pheagle Puffs”, the only bird-themed cereal with enough vitamins to replenish the reserves of the oft-transformed human. After binging several episodes of 80s Ninja Turtles, he eventually decided to go to bed.

After slipping into his pajamas, Phil turned off the TV and quickly opened the package Jam had given him. Inside was a most peculiar gift: a tiny little fox plush! The plush appeared to be holding an accordion and had a very familiar smile pasted across its plush face.

Phil recognized the plush instantly. “It’s Lappi! Or at least, it’s a plush of him.”

Lappi was a vulpine bard who used his magical accordion and silver tongue to transform anyone who came in contact with him into random things. He didn’t do it out of maliciousness, but rather just to have fun. Phil poked the plush, and sighed with relief after it seemed to do nothing. To the football star, it appeared to be just another ordinary toy. But little did he know that the plush was so much more than that…

“Looks like it’s just a plush. I need to stop assuming everything is a magical transformation trinket!” With that, Phil leapt into his bed and tucked himself in. Before drifting off, Phil noticed a string attached to the plush’s back. He pulled it, causing it to play beautiful music that slowly lulled him to sleep.

Once Phil was asleep, the music began to work its magic. The sounds emanating from the music box inside the plush grew louder: “Pull my string; for you I’ll sing!” As soon as these words were uttered, a golden glow began to cover Phil’s body, as if he was being surrounded by a magical aura!

“Here’s the thing: you’ll grow wings!” As soon as the plush had sung those mystical words, a pair of large plush wings burst from Phil’s back. The growing wings pressed hard against the inside of his shirt, causing small tears. And as the wings grew larger, so did the tears! This continued until the wings grew so large that they burst out of the back of his shirt, sending pieces of fabric flying everywhere.

The wings appeared to be covered in fake brown feathers and were filled with stuffing. But before the plush could continue its transformation of the sleepy human, Phil slowly opened his eyes. The plush sensed this and stopped moving, slumping back down as Phil got out of bed.

Phil’s throat was parched, so he went to get a glass of water. He failed to notice the large plush wings attached to his back, which ended up knocking several things off his dresser as he walked by. Phil let out a half-awake yawn, “I’ll pick those up in the morning!”

After returning and taking a few sips of water, Phil drifted back to sleep. As soon as he did, the plush propped back up and got back to singing: “Back to my magical song; with talons you can’t go wrong!” As soon as the fox plush had said that, Phil’s fingers began to twitch. They puffed out and grew into big yellow bird talons. His feet quickly followed suit, completely ripping through his socks and slippers in the process! His toes began to twitched awkwardly as the transforming man began to toss and turn. The changes were starting to become noticeable, to the point where Phil could feel them even while asleep!

The plush sensed this and kicked into overtime with its rhymes: “Waking up early is for the weak; instead have a nice and shiny beak!” As soon as the fox said those words, Phil’s lips began to expand as if they had just been stung by hundreds of bees! His lips grew longer and wider, while also hardening and turning yellow. Phil’s face now had a huge, shiny beak in the middle of it! At this point, the changes finally awakened Phil, who slowly opened his eyes.

“Ungh...why do I feel so odd?” As soon as Phil asked that, he felt a strange welling up in his throat. His vocal cords began to warp and twist, transforming into a metallic voice box. “What’s wrong with my voice?!” cried Phil, his voice now sounding like it was a compressed audio file. He quickly realized that his new voice was the least of his worries as he looked down, panicked by what he saw.

Phil’s body had been mostly transformed into a plush eagle! He grumbled. “Dang it!”

The plush fox chimed in once again: “Chill out and listen to me rap! I’ll put some feathers in your cap!”

In response to the fox’s words, plush feathers started sprouting out from the rest of Phil’s body, tearing through his pajamas even further! Phil gasped as his already shredded PJs were torn asunder! “Dammit, these are limited edition!” Phil leapt out of bed, ran over to the Lappi plush, and grabbed it with his soft, cushiony talons. “Don’t make me rip your stuffing out, little guy!” shouted the bird as he violently shook the plush.

“I have but one demand!” chimed the plush.

Phil narrowed his eyes at the plush. “And that is?”

“Expand, expand, EXPAND!”

Just then, Phil felt a strange sensation in his legs, which prompted him to look down. He found that his legs were now inflating and growing larger, filling with stuffing in the process! Phil’s massive wobbly legs caused him to stumble about, and he waved his arms in an attempt to keep his balance. It felt like he was wearing a pair of stilts that were glued to his legs!

Phil flailed about in an attempt to stop himself from falling, but this only caused his now-massive legs to knock things over in his room! He accidentally hip-checked his collection of Ninja Turtles figurines, causing them to plummet from atop a nearby shelf and land on the floor. Phil gasped. “No, not my collectible Bebop and Rocksteady figurines!” His flailing got even worse as his arms started to grow next. They grew larger and wider, his plush talons bulking up considerably!

He soon lost his balance, landing on his bed, causing it to creak under the weight of his heavy talons and feet! His torso began to expand next, as it too quickly filled with stuffing. Phil’s belly grew out considerably as it became much wider and rounder! His growing stomach and torso ripped through what was left of his pajamas. One by one, the buttons on his top shot off like torpedoes, ricocheting off his ceiling fan. His belly grew larger and larger with each passing second, becoming so heavy that it began to press down on the bed Phil was lying on.

The larger his stomach got, the more his mattress began to rip. The springs couldn’t handle the plush bird’s increasing girth, and quickly gave out, causing the mattress to break even further. Phil’s body became so heavy, that the legs of the bed broke, causing both Phil and his mattress to plummet to the floor of his room! The fall caused Phil’s plush talons to dig deep into the bed, producing further rips in the fabric! And his efforts to pull them from his bed caused even more rips! While attempting to pull his talons from the fabric, Phil accidentally face-planted directly into his pillow. He soon found his beak stuck in the pillow, and struggled desperately to pull that out as well.

Phil used his embedded talons to steady himself on the mattress as he quickly jerked his head back, freeing his beak and causing pillow feathers to fly all over the place. Phil sighed as he looked at the now-empty pillow, “Well, I guess that’s not a big loss. I needed new pillows anyways!”

Phil finally managed to free his talons from his mattress, only for them to magically expand even more! His growing talons scratched against the footboard of the bed, as both his talons and his body continued to grow larger. His wings expanded as well, becoming so large that they stretched across the entire room. They rubbed against the ceiling and even started to press against the window! Phil tried to pivot them away from the glass, but it was too late!

In one fell swoop, his wings grew even larger still and broke right through the window! “Yipe, I just had those replaced last week!” shouted the growing bird as he continued to struggle. His room was starting to become a very tiny fit! He quickly grew past the boundaries of his bed, his increasing size pushing his head against the closet door. Phil tried to stand up and accidentally banged his head against the door in the process!

The wooden closet door was quickly smashed to pieces by the bird’s ever-enlarging melon. After destroying his closet, Phil heaved his head up to look around the room. His outfit, his room, and all of his belongings had been obliterated! Sure, he had insurance on a lot of his stuff, but not ALL of his stuff! It would take hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars to replace what he had lost.

As he looked at the Lappi plush in the corner, Phil scowled, the plush bird-man seething with rage. The fox plush chimed in once more: “Go with the groove, you don’t have to move!” The giant plush bird reached for the fox, but suddenly, a feeling of numbness suddenly shot through his arm. It became heavy and unresponsive, falling to the ground and smashing his alarm clock by mistake!

Phil panicked. “Eep! I’m turning inanimate!”

Phil knew he had to grab the plush before he fully became one himself, so he attempted to stand up. He managed to get his bird-legs upright for a few seconds, only for them to become inanimate as well and send him hurtling back to the ground. His legs smashed his dirty clothes hamper, sending pairs of socks, jerseys, and shorts flying all over the place!

Phil’s other arm and torso soon followed suit, dropping to the ground and becoming immobile. The only thing left Phil could move was his head! He reached for the plush with his beak and was about to grab it, only to be stopped by the numbness reaching his head. Phil’s head dropped to the ground, the expression on his beak warping into a smile as he completely lost the ability to move.

Phil lied there, now just a plush waiting to be hugged! As he rested, he heard the sound of something, or rather, someone, approaching his now-broken window. He then heard Jam’s voice shout, “Here I come, birthday bird!”

Jam leapt through the window and landed on the floor, narrowly avoiding the broken glass. He then ran over to the eagle plush and gave it a big hug. “I can’t believe you fell for that, you stupid plush bird!”

Phil was seething on the inside, annoyed that he fell for one of Jam’s traps yet again. He wanted to sit on the monkey as payback, but the giant plush bird’s body remained immobile. Jam snickered, “I should take a photo of you like this!”

He stood up and reached into his lab coat pocket to grab his phone, only to fumble with it and drop it near the Lappi plush. Jam reached down to pick it up, only for the ripcord of the plush to get stuck on one of his coat’s buttons. Jam tried to dislodge the cord from his button without pulling it, but it was too late! One gentle tug was enough to reactivate the fox plush, who got to work on changing Jam now. “A monkey, I see? Well, chunky you’ll be!”

Jam’s tiny body then started to magically fatten up! His stomach grew out as his arms and legs became incredibly flabby. His whole body quickly became misshapen, looking more like a furry potato than a monkey. Jam grumbled and crossed his flabby arms. “H-Hey, that’s not fair! You’re not supposed to change me!”

The chunky monkey tried to grab the plush, only for it to change the monkey more. “What’s up, suction-cups?” Just then, Jam’s palms and the bottoms of his feet began to twitch. Plastic suction cups emerged from them, quickly catching Jam off-guard and throwing off his balance. He tried to stand up with the suction cups now on his feet, but they were too slippery and cumbersome, causing him to fall! The monkey grumbled, “Damn it! I don’t want suction cups!”

Phil was laughing on the inside, despite not being able to verbalize it. He loved that the dumb monkey was getting his just desserts for turning him into a plush and destroying his room! The fox plush’s next decree brought Phil even more joy. “Why should you care? Because there’s a heart there!”

Suddenly, a cartoonish red heart symbol appeared on Jam’s chest. The monkey screeched, “How dare you make me into a bootleg Care Bear Cousin?!” Jam flailed his suction-cupped hands and feet around, trying to get up, only for the next change to hit him. “Stay a while and smile!”

Jam’s mouth uncontrollably formed into a smile as his lips were stitched shut. “Mmmfff mmrrph!” Jam let out muffled yelps, his lips no longer able to utter words. Jam couldn’t take it anymore, and used all of his strength to hobble to his feet! He launched himself into the air and towards the plush, but didn’t account for his increased weight. His monkey flab threw off his trajectory, causing him to land on a nearby wall! Jam’s suction cups quickly stuck to the wall, much to the simian’s annoyance.

Jam tried to pull his suction-cups from the wall, but his fattened body lacked the strength to do so! The fox plush quickly took advantage of the stuck monkey and changed him further. “Don’t stop now, you don’t have to get off! Why don’t I make you plush and soft?”

Jam’s body changed even more, his fur turning into fake horse-hair. The skin along his pudgy body turned into felt material as his insides became stuffing. Jam’s whole body quickly changed into a soft and adorable plush. Jam could still move though, and struggled to get off of the wall! He found that he still couldn’t pull his suction cups away though, leaving him as a sitting duck for the final change!

“I don’t mean to compound, but you shouldn’t move around!” With the fox plush’s last lines, Jam’s movements completely ceased. He had been fully transformed into a monkey plush! Now he could only hang from the wall like the toy monkey he was. Phil wished he could physically laugh right now, as he really wanted to rub in Jam’s failure!

Unfortunately, Phil would have to wait weeks to change back before he could properly rub in the monkey’s defeat! For now, Phil would just have to lie there and relax in his destroyed room, his inanimate head stuck looking straight ahead at the soft monkey on his wall. Thankfully, the effects of the Lappi plush would only be temporary.

The two would be back to normal in a couple weeks! Of course, that also meant a lot of waiting and being unable to move. This gave Phil some time to think about how much he would charge the monkey for destroying his bedroom. Two weeks gave him plenty of time to come up with a good estimate!

Of course, once changed back Phil had to find a different place to stay until his room was fixed up. Thankfully, Jam was a good friend, and offered to let Phil stay at his place until all the damages were paid and everything is fixed. Surely, Jam wouldn’t use this as an opportunity to make Phil his new test subject…